


Subtext

by A_M_Kelley



Category: Bandom, Dead Kennedys, Punk Rock RPF
Genre: Banter, Humor if you squint long enough, Implied Slash, Innuendo, Inspired By Tumblr, Interviews, Jell-O, M/M, Pointless, Slash Goggles, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 14:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1351072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_M_Kelley/pseuds/A_M_Kelley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Klaus makes an off-color joke during an interview and successfully embarrasses everyone to death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subtext

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this post on Tumblr and I just _**had**_ to write a story about it.
> 
> <http://jadelard.tumblr.com/post/46114734283/so-i-officially-ship-this>

The situation had started much earlier in the day when they were called upon to do an interview for their latest album. Darren had been sick and Ray had other things that needed taken care of, so Jello and Klaus were bestowed upon with the dubious task of making a public appearance. It wasn't uncommon for Jello and Klaus (mostly Jello) to be the mouth pieces for the band, but it be nice to take turns once in awhile.

Jello wasn't too fond of interviews because people either always asked stupid questions or were just completely unaware of the world around them. Klaus didn't really mind it as much, but he'd probably be more enthusiastic about them if he ever got two words in, because as much as Jello despised interviews he always seemed to dominate them. Klaus wouldn't go so far as to say he was submissive, but Klaus considered himself to be passive in many ways. He didn't really mind it if Jello spoke more anyway.

Jello was in the middle of explaining what their music was all about as Klaus sat beside him in silence, nodding along to what he was saying. The interviewer, Greg-something-or-other, was holding a small microphone up to Jello's lips, listening intently to what he had to say. Interviewers were either very eager or had to do this out of obligation, but Greg-something-or-other seemed to be a mixture of both.

"Enough album talk. Let's talk about you guys," the interviewer interrupts after Jello dishes out the gist of the album's concept.

"Oh, dear," Jello groans with a slight grimace. He shifts uncomfortably in his chair before sitting up straight.

"What hobbies do you guys have?"

These were the type of questions Jello and Klaus liked to avoid when doing interviews. They didn't like the idea of someone prying into their private lives and it made no difference in the long run. It wasn't as if fans or other people would know them any better. Klaus and Jello were just like anyone else. Questions like this were candidates for sarcastic, and often false, answers. After all, this was about their music... Not them.

"We like to knit," Klaus says mirthlessly, taking his glasses off to clean the lenses with the hem of his shirt.

"In our spare time we like to go to the park and terrorize children," Jello remarks just as sarcastically, leaning back in his chair. Jello usually only says outlandish things when he's bored. Sometimes people even believe him.

"Yeah, I bet," Greg chuckles, keeping the microphone level between all three of them.

Greg seems unfazed by these remarks, though, because he's heard the many stories about their stage shows and other antics. Whether or not they're true is another story. He mostly believes it's all for setting an illusion of shock and awe, but on the other hand... Who the hell knew? That was the whole point of the interview and even then Klaus and Jello hadn't been following the script. Any question about them personally suddenly changed their demeanor.

"So, Jello, do you like Jell-O?" The interviewer asks after a moment, changing gears with a joke the singer has probably heard a thousand times before.

"Hell no," Jello scoffs, smirking as he tries to suppress a cackle of pure absurdity at the obvious summation one would make. "It tastes like shit."

"Well, then why name yourself after it?" The interviewer elaborates further, finding himself intrigued by it all.

"Because he tastes like shit," Klaus injected swiftly, relishing the way his joke was perfectly molded for him.

But neither Jello nor Greg-something-or-other was aware of it's satirical merit because Klaus kept a straight face as he said it. Jello suddenly blushed profusely, stuttering out words that disregarded Klaus' off-key sense of humor. He could suddenly feel Greg's eyes on him, skeptical as ever yet mildly amused at the same time. Greg-something-or-other perked up a little at this, becoming quite entertained with this new conversation topic.

"That doesn't even make sense..." Jello observes rather perplexed by Klaus' comment.

Jello would be lying if he said he wasn't embarrassed because he is, very much so, and letting the faint blush creep along his cheekbones only made things worse for him. It only reinforced the notion that him and Klaus were a _thing_ when, by all rights, wasn't true... Well, mostly not true. Either way, it doesn't boost Jello's ego when someone says he tastes like shit.

"How do you know what he tastes like?" Greg inquires, referring to Jello as he promptly held up his microphone towards Klaus.

Klaus' smirk grew bigger into a wide grin at the notion of dragging the joke out even further and Jello could see that mischievous little glint in his eyes. Klaus was getting ready to open his mouth once more to make the situation ten times more scandalous and far more vulgar, but before he could get one word out Jello lunges over and slaps his hand over Klaus' mouth.

"Don't answer that!" Jello orders, laughing off the situation nervously.

He could feel Klaus smiling underneath his hand and see the amusement flicker across the interviewer's face, but Jello kept a straight face even as he dies a little inside. Thankfully, Greg leaned back slightly as he chuckled at their silly banter. This prompted Klaus to lick Jello's palm, including his fingers, causing the singer to recoil from the foreign feeling with an ooky expression.

"Yuck!" Klaus exclaims, wiping his tongue with the back of his hand.

There is a sour look of disgust on his face but by all rights it's accentuated for the benefit of the interviewer. Jello grimaces and swipes his now wet hand against the fabric of his jeans, staring at Klaus with a skeptical expression. Greg-something-or-other looks between the two men dubiously, alternating his undivided attention before settling fully on Klaus.

"Are you alright?" Greg asks with a hint of glee in his voice.

And to Jello's disdain, Klaus replies with a smart ass comment.

"I guess that's one way to find out how someone tastes like shit, if you know what I mean," Klaus remarks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Greg-something-or-other flushes visibly at the suggestion of something more taboo as Jello dies of embarrassment right then and there.


End file.
